How to Avoid Having a Black Sheep in the Family
In most cases, there is a black sheep in the family or someone is most likely going to be. Actually, there are a lot of reasons for this problem and one of them could be having a lot of children in the family. However, this is not always true as this can also happen even if you only have two children.
Jealousy is the primary reason why a child can be a black sheep someday, which is why parents should be sensitive about this. Some children are good in hiding it that makes it a more serious problem. The film The Good Son starring Macaulay Culkin is a story about the evil things a jealous child can do. But for the meantime, here are some parenting tips that can help you.
Treat with high respect
If you give something to your child, it will automatically be theirs. So if you want the younger ones to use them for some reasons, borrow it from him before you get it. If they resist, you must explain them the importance of sharing. On other hand, that child should also be allowed to borrow things from his other siblings. Getting high respect from you as their parent is very important for them.
No comparison
Don’t ever compare one child to his siblings, not even once. Not even on a joke. Instead, guide the weaker one and show that he is equally important as the other members of the family. Additionally, advice the better ones to help him but make sure he is not being taken advantage of. Comparing one from the others can also spoil the better one, which can be an additional burden in the future.
Equal opportunities
Birthdays are very important for children. If one of them feels that his birthdays are being less celebrated, this can trigger him to be jealous. If you cannot afford to celebrate them equally, you should explain it to the affected one beforehand. This is only a simple example but there are other things such clothes, toys, and education. So before being extravagant, make sure you can provide equal opportunities to all of your children.
Open communication
This is the best way to avoid having a black sheep in the family. No matter how busy you are, you should have time to ask your children what their problems are. Not all children are vocal about their feelings, especially if they think that they will be ignored. It is usually the teenagers who are skeptical in sharing their thoughts, since they are most of the times confused about their status.
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Napagandang advice po yan Angel. Sometimes we ask ourselves that we are being good parents but why our child growing up like that (being a black ship).
As long siguro na naging fare tayo sa mga anak natin. we do our part as a good parent. Wala sa atin ang pagkukulang, but theirs.
Ganun pa man we are always there for them no matter what.
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Right partner. There will always be one who would be a problem no matter what you do. It is because they have their own measurement of being fair.Just be consistent and they would realize later on. In their own time.
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this is very good advice sir. i think i am being too hard on my eldest child
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Nice post Kuya Angel! I do agree with you that open communication is one of the best way to a child’s heart…
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Hi, care to exchange links po?
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Hello Kuya Angel,
Happy Easter sa inyo.
Regards,
Snow
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Really awesome blog. I enjoyed reading this review from you. I found that you really update your site regularly that made me more interesting. I’ve bookmarked your site for my future use.
Thank you
sagar
I really wish I can say I’m on top of everything and I can prevent the occurence of such in my family.
But like you said, children are good at hiding… and I can sense, somebody is hiding something from me.
I wish I can take control.
Thanks for the post Sir Angel.
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I am lucky, my brothers and I while we fought like cats and dogs over the usual brother/sister stuff of sharing toys and whatnot we never really did feel like any of us was given less or more attention or love. I try to do the same for my kids.
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eee… it’s not true – all my family members are angels:)
nice advice. but i think there are still so many people that tends to look at all siblings and judge them on who is the black sheep…people really sometimes has this bad attitude on looking at the who is the most different.
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The best way to grow a black sheep is to act hostile towards anyone who’s a bit “different”. If they feel accepted they’re a lot less likely to act inapropriately.
this is too hard to answer..sometimes you cant stop having a black sheep in the family..it depents on the parents i think on how they will raise their children.
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I think I am the black sheep in mine, on my father’s side anyway. Really it’s my fault because I can’t stand most of them so i tend to avoid them at all costs, now they’ve taken to gossiping about me and what I should do/should have done with my life. It’s quite funny really because the one who is the worst about it is married to a drunken bum. And when I say bum I mean hasn’t had a job in at least ten years. That’s how long I’ve known him.
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Just don’t treat them like outcasts. People are different and you should be able to accept even those “black sheep”.
Nice post. Thanks for sharing.
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