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All of us get angry, and it is part of being human. It is fine to be angry once in a while, but it is very important that we know how to deal with it. For teenagers, anger management is something that they should learn as early as possible.

One day, my 13-year old daughter went home from school wearing an angry face. At first, she does not want to talk about it so I just let her cry for a while. Afterward, we told me that her classmate played a joke at her by hiding her notebook the whole day.

So if you want to know how to teach your teenage child deal with anger, here is how I do it and I hope this can help you somehow.


Ask her to calm down first

Angry people cannot explain well enough, so you should ask her to calm down first. Allow her to take a few deep breathe, drink a glass of cold water or two, then rest for a while. It might quite difficult for her to calm down immediately so don’t push her. Instead, tell her to slowly count one to five and then backwards until she is relax. Otherwise, there is a big chance that you will be angry too which might worsen the situation.

Find someone to listen

As parents, we should be the first ones to listen to our child when they are angry. However, we may not always be around so it is also important that she has a close friend or relative that she can trust. You must remember that anger should not be kept inside for a long time especially for teenage children. Otherwise, they might accumulate and bring them along when they grow older which can prevent her to enjoy life.

Express anger positively

Yes, express anger positively and this means without hurting herself or anyone. Your child can write, draw, and even dance about it. In short, they can do some physical activities to express their anger. However, the best way is to talk to the person that caused your anger. But of course, your child might feel uncomfortable so she should learn to deal with it. This is the also the reason why you should ask her to calm down first before making any action.

Teach her how to be patient

Patience is a virtue and will always be. Your child can only control anger easily if she learns how to be patient with other people. For example, school canteen is a crowded place so she can expect that someone might accidentally bump her food tray. Therefore, understanding the situation may help her control her anger. This can also help her to win more friends, and people around her will also tend to do the same with her. Anyway, it is always better to be patient.

By the way, my daughter talked to her classmate the next day who eventually returned the notebook. She apologized with sincerity and promised not to do it again. My daughter accepted the apology, and they became friends.

Well, my daughter still gets angry with her a few times, especially when a cute boy passes by.

But that’s another post for me to share…


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