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How to help your Children cope up with School Stress

Angel Cuala — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 06:10:57 +0000

Here in the Philippines, March is usually the last month of the school year. Most students are now rushing their projects, preparing for the final examination, or even for the graduation. Unfortunately, some parents think that stress is only for adults and children do not feel them.

Well, if you’re one of them then I suppose this post is for you. This will give you tips on how to help your children cope up with school stress. This does not only apply to high school students, but also to college as well as to grade school pupils.

Have an organized room

Older children do not have an organized room at home, and parents are being scolded when they arrange their things. They do not realize that it is one of the reasons why they have school stress, since simply looking for textbook may require them a lot of time. Therefore, parents should learn how motivate them and letting their children understand the benefit of an organized room is a good start. For young students, you can start teaching them by playing with them while fixing their room.

Have an easy access to school calendar

Having an easy access to school calendar will be a big help for your child to prepare for his projects and other school activities. You can post it on their room, refrigerator doors or where both of you can easily see it. As a parent, you can also ask him about the status of each project and help him in any way you can. However, seeing the school calendar everyday may add stress to your child so you must be there to guide him.

Facing human factors

Terror teachers and bullying classmates are some of the human factors in school that add school stress to your children. Some children lose their focus on their studies because of them, but they hide them from their parents. Actually, parents should know the teachers and classmates during the first week of the school. But in case you missed them, ask your child about his problems in school instead of getting mad at him when his grades are low. However, be calm when you talk with the school authorities.

Provide moral support

Some parents did not even finish high school but it does not mean they cannot provide moral support to their children. Giving moral support is more of a parent’s instinct and cannot be learned from school, so don’t feel insecure about it. If you don’t understand what your child is talking about, be honest to him and ask him to explain it further. What is important is that you are willing to help him based on your capabilities. Ensuring him that he can do it is more than enough as a moral support.

Facing financial problem

My daughter has a 5-month pending bills on her tuition fee, and I just make a promissory note so that she can take the exams. However, I always tell her not to be bothered and I will work harder to pay them. If you’re in the same situation, don’t show to your child that you are affected. Let her focus on her studies and ask her to use the financial problem as an inspiration to study harder. This can also help your child be aware about the value of money.

Unfortunately, some parents are too busy working and have no time for the school activities of their children. They hire tutors and depend on them completely. There’s nothing wrong with hiring tutors but parents should still have the hands-on job on their child’s school needs.

Lastly, parents should know who really they are working hard for.

Related posts:
How to entertain your Child if he keeps on asking Questions
How to Motivate your Kids in Reading Books
Choosing a College Course in Times of Crisis
How to Motivate your Child to Enjoy Mathematics
How to Teach your Child the Value of Money

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

How to teach your Teenage Child deal with Anger

Angel Cuala — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 03:29:01 +0000

All of us get angry, and it is part of being human. It is fine to be angry once in a while, but it is very important that we know how to deal with it. For teenagers, anger management is something that they should learn as early as possible.

One day, my 13-year old daughter went home from school wearing an angry face. At first, she does not want to talk about it so I just let her cry for a while. Afterward, we told me that her classmate played a joke at her by hiding her notebook the whole day.

So if you want to know how to teach your teenage child deal with anger, here is how I do it and I hope this can help you somehow.

Ask her to calm down first

Angry people cannot explain well enough, so you should ask her to calm down first. Allow her to take a few deep breathe, drink a glass of cold water or two, then rest for a while. It might quite difficult for her to calm down immediately so don’t push her. Instead, tell her to slowly count one to five and then backwards until she is relax. Otherwise, there is a big chance that you will be angry too which might worsen the situation.

Find someone to listen

As parents, we should be the first ones to listen to our child when they are angry. However, we may not always be around so it is also important that she has a close friend or relative that she can trust. You must remember that anger should not be kept inside for a long time especially for teenage children. Otherwise, they might accumulate and bring them along when they grow older which can prevent her to enjoy life.

Express anger positively

Yes, express anger positively and this means without hurting herself or anyone. Your child can write, draw, and even dance about it. In short, they can do some physical activities to express their anger. However, the best way is to talk to the person that caused your anger. But of course, your child might feel uncomfortable so she should learn to deal with it. This is the also the reason why you should ask her to calm down first before making any action.

Teach her how to be patient

Patience is a virtue and will always be. Your child can only control anger easily if she learns how to be patient with other people. For example, school canteen is a crowded place so she can expect that someone might accidentally bump her food tray. Therefore, understanding the situation may help her control her anger. This can also help her to win more friends, and people around her will also tend to do the same with her. Anyway, it is always better to be patient.

By the way, my daughter talked to her classmate the next day who eventually returned the notebook. She apologized with sincerity and promised not to do it again. My daughter accepted the apology, and they became friends.

Well, my daughter still gets angry with her a few times, especially when a cute boy passes by.

But that’s another post for me to share…

Related posts:
How a Father should Love his Teenage Daughter
Helicopter Parenting: Not Just a Problem of Overprotective Parents
How to entertain your Child if he keeps on asking Questions
How to Teach your Child Deal with Failure
How to Deny your Childs Request
How to Avoid Having a Black Sheep in the Family
How to Teach your Teenage Boys to respect Women
What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents
10 Bad Reasons why Children Hate to Stay Home
How to Protect your Daughter from Sex Offenders
How Parents can avoid Sibling Jealousy

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

Should I Forgive my Cheating Husband?

Angel Cuala — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 04:51:09 +0000

About a decade ago, I met a second cousin for the first time who later on became my co-employee. He was still single then and eventually had our co-employee his girlfriend. A few months later, I learned that he got her pregnant and they got married. However, I assume that both of them were not yet prepared to have a married life.

Later, I learned that my cousin had an affair with another girl and his wife discovered it. Since I was considered as their family friend, his wife consulted her problem to me.

“Should I forgive my cheating husband?” she asked. I know only she can answer that question, but I asked her a couple of questions to serve as guide before making a decision. If you’re now in the same situation, this post might help you.

How did he cheat you?

I know this will hurt you more, but it is still important that you know how the cheating happened. Did he plan it because he found an attractive girl? Is it just a one night stand and your husband did not see her again? Was the cheating very obvious that he do not care if you learn about it? If his intention was really to hurt you, there might be a problem within your marriage and cheating is his way to escape.

Was he sincere when he asked for forgiveness?

Men can easily say sorry if they were caught cheating, while most of them even deny it until they die. Was your husband sincere when he asked for forgiveness? Did your husband intend to hide it from you forever? Some husbands may not be very vocal on asking for forgiveness, but their actions show that they are very sorry for their mistakes. If your husband does not seem to feel any guilt, then there is a big chance that he will cheat again.

How are you as his wife?

I know your husband may use this as an alibi, but how are you as his wife? Is he a priority in your life, or just a companion at home? Are you a nagging wife and always hurt his ego? Are you a suspicious wife? Do you care for his feelings, or all you do is take but not give? Some husbands cheat because they are looking for attention and found someone who can have time for them.

Can you give him another chance?

While asking yourself if you should forgive your husband or not, ask yourself if you can give him another chance. Some wives forgive their husbands but still file a divorce, but there are wives who choose to save the marriage only for the sake of their children. I truly believe that a marriage exits because the couples love each other, not because they are parents. After all, a cheating husband does not mean he cannot be a good father.

Forgiving a cheating husband is a personal choice, and should not be influenced by anyone. It may take time for you to decide whether you should forgive him or not, so do not pressure yourself.

By the way, my cousin was forgiven and they stayed together until I separated from my work a year after. We lost communication for five years, and met again two years ago. Although my cousin did not admit it, I noticed that he is now separated from his wife. He said his wife has been working abroad for years, and he avoids his marriage to be talked about.

Wounds can easily be healed if they are being treated with care rather than by natural curing.

If you need more specific solutions to your troubled marriage, you can visit SaveMyMarriageToday.com

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

Haiti Earthquake: How to Help Children cope up when a Family member dies

Angel Cuala — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:37:02 +0000

When a family member dies, it is a reality that all of us find it hard to accept. If adults cannot easily cope up, just imagine how children suffer when this tragedy happens. While we are mourning with the loss of a family member, let us also consider the feelings of our children since they may be not strong enough to face such challenges.

After thousands died during the Haiti earthquake, I hope this post will be useful to the survivors and social workers to help children cope up when a family member dies especially if it is their parents. More than the financial support, I believe that children need more attention and here are my ideas on how to help them.

Don’t push them to accept immediately

Some parents try to calm their children by pushing them to accept immediately, and forcing them to move on. Maybe this is also their way to motivate themselves, not understanding that it may worsen the situation. All of us have different timing of accepting reality, but it will be better if we do it gradually especially to children. Reminding them about the happy days when the family member is still alive may be a good way, but not for always. Silence on the other hand is also fine, but only a few times. Children need to release their emotions, which can help a lot to accept reality.

Keep an open communication

Children have different kinds of expressing their sorrow, and adults should be sensitive about them. Other than crying and screaming, some of them express their pain by drawing, walking, and talking. Therefore, it is very important to have an open communication with them. Don’t just lend your ears, but also have time to hear their feelings. It helps a lot when children know they have someone to talk with. Although it will be difficult for them, try to divert the conversation to the good news rather than just the loss. Encourage them also to comfort others especially to the ones younger than them.

Provide assurance that everything will be fine

The first thing that children will be worried about is their future. Who will take care of me now? How can I live without my parents? These are only some questions they might ask, and adults should provide assurance that everything will be fine. If you don’t have yet a concrete plan, just assure them that they will not be left alone after the burial. Allowing an adult to always be by their side will be their sign that there will be someone who truly cares for them. If one or both parents survived, they should bring the child everywhere they go and hug them with all your heart.

Don’t’ force the children them to attend the funeral

Some children do not want to attend the funeral, so don’t force them. Better ask them first, and give their freedom to choose. Some of them may find it easier to cope up when they attend the funeral, while some of them cannot since seeing the coffin adds more pain. Accepting the reality that a family member dies depends on the character of the child, and adults should understand and respect their decision. However, you can try convincing them to come by telling them to offer flowers or to entertain the guests. In either choice, just make sure that he will not be alone.

Seek professional assistance

There are cases where even the surviving adult finds it hard to cope up, which I am sure that the Haiti earthquake is one of them. They see it in the news and being mentioned everywhere, and will add pain. We know that different nations and individuals are helping the Haiti earthquake survivors, and I am sure that there are professional child counselors who volunteer to help. But in isolated cases, surviving adults should analyze whether the children need a professional assistance or not. You can do that by observing the attitude of your child, and check if his usual habits changed after the loss.

This maybe an absurd tip but I wish parents could talk to their children about death, and tell them to be prepared when their time comes.

For my children especially to my teenage daughter, I always tell her that anything can happen anytime. I always remind her to be ready, and to be strong whatever happens.

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

How to have a Happy Marriage during Economic Crisis

Angel Cuala — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:46:47 +0000

According to the Top 10 World Economy Prediction for 2010 made by the experts, the economic crisis in US is here to stay and the world will still suffer from unemployment. This therefore will not only affect the labor sector and businesses, but families as well. Of course, this includes happy marriages.

While we are being serenaded by the romantic song Love will Keep us Alive by The Eagles, it is not true in the real life. I finally found a new job after more than a year of being jobless. During those times, I cannot deny the fact that my marriage is somehow being affected. But then, my wife and I are doing everything to keep our marriage happy and I know we have been winning so far.

So if you are wondering how to have a happy marriage during economic crisis, this post will surely help you.

Maintain the romance

Just who said that you need money to be romantic? Sharing sweet nothings before going to sleep is totally free, and better than talking about the worries endlessly. Turn on the radio and listen to love songs that once touched your love story is enough to maintain the romance. Cracking a joke is my favorite past time, and although my wife is my last laughing audience, I still try to make her smile at least once a day. You can even look at the old pictures while remember your yesteryears.

Support each other

The economic crisis does not only teach us how to save money, but also for spouses to support each other. If your husband loses his job, don’t put the blame on him. If your wife wants to work to help survive the needs of the family, swallow your pride and allow her. This is the right time to talk on how you two can support each other. So go ahead and share ideas with your spouse, and agree on a common decision. After all, you only have the two of you for better or for worst.

Plan together

The best way for a happy marriage to overcome the economic crisis is to plan together as husband and wife. I did not say it is easy but it is better than doing it without each others consent. When I told my wife that I am willing to be a street vendor, she said she will leave her work since her job earning is not really. When we sell our valuable things, we planned which one we should spend the money with. If two heads are better than one, then isn’t it more wonderful to hear two hearts beating as one?

Enjoy your children

As they say, children are the fruits of your love for each other. When they were babies, their smile can remove your tiredness from a whole day work. Therefore, it is also your children who can erase your worries from the economic crisis. They can serve as inspiration for you to strive more to think of ways on how to make money other than being employed. My teenage daughter Angelene used to give me advises when we were selling street foods. She also suggests which design of toy balloons that she feels will sell more.

Making divorce not a solution

Unlike cheating and beating, having no job is caused by unexpected circumstances. Leaving your spouse just because you are poor is never a good idea, not unless your spouse is lazy enough to do his or her best. A happy marriage is not when you are rich, but when you do things that make each other happy. Sacrifice is included in a marriage, and making divorce is not a solution. It might even worsen the situation, especially for your children. You do not marry someone because of money, do you?

Finally, it is the economic crisis that will test your love for each other. It is not something that can easily be controlled, but it can be a challenge for spouses to test how far they can go.

Then after the storm, it will be a wonderful feeling to look back that both of you survived it. It will also be a lesson to learn that you can share to your children, which they can use as a guide when they decide to have a family of their own.

If you need more specific solutions to your troubled marriage, you can visit SaveMyMarriageToday.com

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

How a Father should Love his Teenage Daughter

Angel Cuala — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:54:41 +0000

Time flies so fast, and I am really surprised that my only daughter is now 13. I am 30 years older than her so I thought that we will have a generation gap. But I am just glad we do not encounter such problems.

Angelene is now taller than her mom, while her interests are gradually becoming different. Therefore, it is also time for me to change the way I treat her. I must admit, I am still learning but I already learned a lot.

With this, here are some ways that I think on how a father should love his teenage daughter.

Be extremely patient

Gone are the days that I can just use my eyes to tell my teenage daughter that she should follow me. This time, I should be extremely patient to avoid her to be rebellious. Teenagers are very sensitive since they are still confused with the thin wall between being a child and an adult. Right now, they need to be understood and parents can only do that if they will be extremely patient. Teenagers hate to be reminded, so parents should think of ways on how to remind them without treating them like a child.

Set house rules and make an agreement

Every morning, I remind her to fix her bed before leaving her room. When she arrives from school, her mom reminds her to put her shoes on the shoe rack. Instead of reminding her all the time, we made an agreement. Once she fails, she will wash her bed sheets and we will not anymore buy her a new pair of shoes. So far, she still misses these things but lesser than before. Each day, she is being more responsible and I know she can improve more. House rules and agreements should be clear and reasonable to the parties concerned.

Give her freedom but with sense of responsibility

My teenage daughter is sometimes hesitant to ask permission from me if she wants to go out with her friends. This is because she thinks that I will not allow her, which is why she tell it first to her mom. After I know the details as to where she will go and with whom, then I decide whether she can go or not. As a father, I believe that giving freedom to his children includes realizing that they have the sense of responsibility of enjoying that freedom. Otherwise, that freedom will be their disaster later on.

Have constant good communication

Some fathers might say that since they are working abroad, it is hard for them to have constant good communication with their family as well as to their teenage daughter. However, there are some fathers who come home everyday but still fail on this aspect. Therefore, having constant good communication requires planning and be taken into priority. As for me, this is the most important part of being a good father and being a good provider is only the second one. If Angelene commits mistake, we talk about it and enjoy another day.

Put continuous trust

These days, there are a lot of temptations around my teenage daughter and I cannot always watch her. There are also times that she should take care of her younger brother and therefore, I have to trust her enough. I truly believe that it is the trust from parents that teenagers can be used to make them mature and confident. If they commit mistakes, it does not mean that you stop trusting them. They may still be young, but they are old enough to learn from their mistakes. However, parents should check first which tasks their children can be trusted well enough.

Teach her about boys

For now, Angelene likes food better than boys and I wish it will take her long before it will be the other way around. But this early, I teach my teenage daughter about boys. I always remind her that a love relationship is not as simple as what she sees in films and TV shows. As her father, I also tell her how to know if a guy is for real or not and how to protect herself from sex offenders. Lastly, I keep on telling them the bad effect of teenage pregnancy. And that having a child is a responsibility that only mature people should go into it.

As a father, we should take this chance while our children are still young. Teenagers should enjoy their youth, but we should be there to guide them while they are building their dreams. Sooner or later, they will have lives of their own and we cannot turn back the clock to catch up with the lost time.

Related posts:
Helicopter Parenting: Not Just a Problem of Overprotective Parents
How to entertain your Child if he keeps on asking Questions
How to Teach your Child Deal with Failure
How to Deny your Childs Request
How to Avoid Having a Black Sheep in the Family
How to Teach your Teenage Boys to respect Women
What Children Do Not Want From Their Parents
10 Bad Reasons why Children Hate to Stay Home
How to Protect your Daughter from Sex Offenders
How Parents can avoid Sibling Jealousy

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

Happy 13th Wedding Anniversary, my Mylene!

Angel Cuala — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 11:50:11 +0000

I know I should have posted this on my personal blog, but I choose not to because my main blog has a wider audience.

Anyway, today is our 13th wedding anniversary, and I am very happy that I am still married to the same woman; Mylene.

Well, the past 13 years of my life was not perfect but I have no regrets. I cannot even imagine myself being married to another woman except to my wife.

The fact that we have been steady for more than six years is enough to say that I will be happy for the rest of my life if I marry her.

As I said, my marriage is not perfect but I am glad my wife is still holding on. With that, I would like the world to know what I feel right now.

Below is my supposedly my love letter to my wife, and I want to share it with you.

My Mylene,

The past thirteen years of our lives was very colorful. You got pregnant before we got married, but it was our decision. I still remember when we decided to live as husband and wife. Year 1995, you went to my boarding house, and you said you are now willing to be my wife. Years back, I told you that I want to marry you anytime but I know you are not yet ready that time. I then told you that I will be waiting when that time comes.

We asked permission from our elders but they won’t allow us, not because we do not love each other. They simply do not want us together because of family conflict, but it did not matter to us.

Since you still need a parent’s consent before you marry, we asked them but they declined our request. But still, we choose to live as one. During our first night, nothing happened. I gave you one week to live with me, and if you shall stay then we shall continue. But on the last day, you left and I respected your decision. After 3 days, you came back to me and said you are now ready.

Our actual plan is you work first before we have a baby, but you were not hired. January 1996 came, and people started to notice that you are pregnant. Fortunately, one of our aunts decided to sign on the parent’s consent and it was the happiest moment of my life.

We encountered a lot of difficulties especially about money. I lost my job when our first child was born. Within that 4-month period of being jobless, I saw your effort to help and supported me all the way. After getting back to work, you insisted that we should have our own home. You convinced me to take a 25-year housing loan and we had it. Because of your selling ability, you helped a lot to make our life better.

But after 5 years, our second child came and more challenges came. He was born with low health resistance, and frequently being hospitalized due to asthma. But you did not give up, you did your best to keep him healthy. Although we are starting to lose money again, you did odd jobs just to help me.

When I spent Christmas in Japan to work, you did not only took good care of our children but also our finances. You used our extra money to improve our house, and I am really amazed on how you did it without me. This is even I was not at home during your birthday and other special occasions, and our son was hospitalized on Christmas day.

2008 when I decided to leave my work and pursue a business. I know that was the toughest decision so far since money is really hard these days, but you again supported me. We did not realize that the worst is yet to come. Dengue almost killed you and hurt our daughter, and it was a nightmare for me to see you in pain. But I saw you cry not because you are hurt, but because our daughter is also suffering. With that, I felt the love you have as a mother.

Now that it’s been more than a year that I have no job, you are doing odd jobs more than ever without complaining. I am very sorry that we are now still suffering from financial problem, and I promise you that this is only temporary.

But more than that, I am very thankful that you did not stop loving me although you can. I am very thankful that you sacrifice your own happiness just to serve us. I am very thankful that you are still holding on, even if it already hurts your arm.

I now can only promise you to do the same, and rest assured that only death can stop me.

Happy 13th Wedding Anniversary, my Mylene!

Loving you always,
Your Angel

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

Special Child Discrimination case against Cebu Pacific Air

Angel Cuala — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:54:10 +0000

Recently, a certain Marites Alcantara complained that her special child John Arvin is being forced to off a Manila-bound flight last December 23, 2009. The mother said that the purser and cabin crew of the Cebu Pacific plane kept repeating that her son is banned from the plane because he was mentally-ill.

Yesterday, another mother by the name of Stella Santos told told ABS-CBN’s Umagang Kay Ganda that her son Harvy who is also a special child, suffered the same humiliating situation. Apparently, the two instances occurred on the same day in the same Cebu Pacific flight.

Santos said that after news about the incident broke out, she received a call from the Cebu Pacific management. She said the airline apologized repeatedly and even offered her 4 free round-trip tickets, but she said that it would not be able to convince them to forget the humiliating experience..

Meanwhile, Alcantara’s lawyer, Salvador Panelo, had also said that they will file charges against the airline and its crew for violating Republic Act 7610 which is the law protecting the rights of children, which includes special children.

Both mothers are now said to be preparing to file a special child discrimination case against Cebu Pacific Air.

According to Cebu Pacific Air written public apology, the incident was “a result of the cabin crew’s misinterpretation of government regulations designed to assure the safety of passengers. Cebu Pacific has no policy that discriminates against persons with special needs.”

Well, I think Cebu Pacific Air should consider re-orienting their staff about the laws and the rights of the children as well as human in general. While it may be true that they really do not discriminate special children, it is their main responsibility to ensure that it is being strictly implemented.

As a father, I agree with Commission on Human Rights (CHR) chairperson Leila de Lima who suggested that airlines and other public utilities review their policies and make necessary changes to make sure that they comply with RA 7277, which is the Magna Carta for Disabled Persons that states the refusal to convey a passenger by reason of disability is considered discrimination.

As I have been reading comments on blogs and news websites, I learned that there are other cases of discrimination and being unprofessional among the crews of Cebu Pacific Air. With that, I think this is the right time to file a formal complain while the issue is still hot. If you have evidence that you can prove Cebu Pacific Air or other airlines that show similar maltreatment cases, then there is nothing you should be afraid of.

I think this is also a wake up call to the present government and presidential candidates for 2010. That although there are lot of problems to prioritize, humans rights and discrimination against anyone is also a big problem, especially when it comes to children.

Lastly, I suppose that all of us just need to act like human. Actually, I don’t even think we need laws to refer from when it comes to respecting people. The principle is simple, what you do not want others to do you is unlawful. Therefore, you also do not have the right to do it to others.

If you have the right to live normal and be treated nicely, so as others.

Related posts:
How to Stop your Child from Bullying others
How to Teach your Teenage Boys to respect Women
How to Protect your Daughter from Sex Offenders
How to Vote Wisely this coming Philippine Automated Election 2010

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.

You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

Helicopter Parenting: Not Just a Problem of Overprotective Parents

Angel Cuala — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:10:47 +0000

According to Wikipedia, helicopter parenting happens when parents pay extremely close attention to their child’s or children’ experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. But why do some parents tend to be overprotective? Or are they just sensitive enough to protect their children?

I must admit, I went to my daughter’s school a few months ago after she complained that her male classmate hit her shoulders really bad. Then, I realized that there is something I should do rather than to sound like an overprotective parent.

My daughter is only 13, and she is very much enjoying her youth. It was not the first time she complained about being harassed, but I thought they were just part of growing up and still playing around. The last time she was hit, I knew I have something to do and I did it.

I talked to the teacher and confirmed if she knew the problem, and what she will do. According to her, she asked my daughter to make a report about the incident and pass it to the Guidance Counselor’s office. But then, I cannot help but talk to that naughty boy who hurt my daughter. He was as big as me although he is only 14.

He comes from a higher class clan, but it looks like he has a problem within his own family. He has previous records that concern bullying others, which means my daughter was not his first victim. Eventually, that boy was suspended for a couple of days for his act. So far, I never heard him hurting my daughter again or anyone else.

Then, I realized that helicopter parenting is not just a problem of overprotective parents. It is also a concern of knowing what will possibly happen to our child when he is away from us. It is not enough that we put trust in their teachers that they can protect them while they are in school. It is our responsibility as parents to make preventive measures before something bad will happen to them.

To do this, we must remind our child how to safe at school. She can do this even without learning Tae kwon-do or rather forms of self-defense, although it will be helpful. But then, I think it is about being smart and be a keen observer in her surroundings. We must accept the fact that the world is not perfect, and we cannot always be there to protect them.

In addition, we are also teaching them how to be independent especially if they are on their early teens. It feels embarrassing to them if they are still being closely watched at their age. However, reminding them always may hurt their ears and we have to understand them too. Our children also need trust from us, and reminders should be done in different manners.

Similarly, we should also have a good relationship with their teachers since they will be the second parents of your children. Students need extra curricular activities too, and teachers will play a big part on such activities. Therefore, teachers need information from parents to serve as guide before they offer different activities to their students.

Lastly, it is a must that we parents should protect our children at all times. But then, we cannot do it alone. If we don’t trust our children nor anyone else, there is a big chance that we become overprotective which might create a bigger problem in the future.

Rebellion is the enemy of freedom.

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You can also visit my personal blog at Angel Cuala Online.

Happy New Year: The Best and Worst of Father Blogger dot Com 2009

Angel Cuala — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 06:14:35 +0000

Happy New Year and welcome to my last post for 2009. I must admit, this year was a tough one for Father Blogger dot Com as well as for my personal life. And I know most people experienced hard times too, as the economic slowdown continues to affect us.

Anyway, I would like to share to you the Best and Worst of Father Blogger dot Com 2009. Let this be a lesson for all of us, and may this be an inspiration to us to make the year 2010 a better one.

January 2009 I should say was the worst and the most challenging month for me and my family. This was when Dengue Fever almost killed my wife and hurt my only daughter last January 19. This tragedy did not only made me low, but also broke. Up to this moment, I am still having a hard time recovering my financial ability. But then, I am so glad that there were online friends who helped me not only financially but also offered prayers. Words are not enough to express my gratitude to them.

June 2009 however is the worst month for this blog. Its hosting service as well as the domain expired, and I have no enough money to continue its service. I must admit, I did not care enough since my priority then was to provide the needs of my family. June was the start of school year and I have no regular source of income. However, I received a lot of text and email from my blogging friends and advised me to renew and continue blogging and they are willing to help in any way they can. So after almost 3 weeks of being parked, Father Blogger dot com became alive again and still kicking! A Good Samaritan paid for the hosting, and a White Angel paid for the domain. I love you both!

July 2009 was a brighter month for this blog, as Father Blogger dot Com was featured on Manila Bulletin. Actually, Annalyn Jusay who has a column Blog-O-Rama at Manila Bulletin newspaper send me some interview questions last March 2009 and I immediately answered them. However, I overlooked my email and I did not realized at once that the interview was published online last April 2009.

It was also in July 2009 that I finally received my copy of the Problogger Book by Darren Rowse. Actually, it was my prize I won from Blogging Tips dot Com contest, wherein the mechanics is to share the best blogging tips in 140 characters or else. So what was my winning piece then? Here is my actual entry.

Inspire others, and be useful to them. This is the best strategy so far, even better than search engines and all the social sites you can find.

August 2009 was the best month and for the entire history so far of Father Blogger dot Com, as it voted as One of Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2009. This was really a surprise to me considering that I am not really promoting this blog that frequent anymore. By the way, this event was organized by no less than the Influential Blogger herself, Ms. Janet Toral. It was so memorable to me that I also met another set of fellow Filipino bloggers, as well as the ones I met before when I attended a blogging event for the first time. I had also the chance to make an acceptance speech which was posted at You Tube.

September 2009 was when I completed my 3-part series on How to Promote a Blog for Beginners. This is actually a dream-come-true to me, as I was able to share what I have learned in blogging and I believe a lot of blogging beginners also learned from them. It was also a result of what I read from the Problogger book.

On that same month, I also decided to have my own personal blog. Actually, a lot of blogging friends already advised me to have one last year but I hesitate then. But it was when I finally met Marhgil Macuha in person on a blogging event that really motivated me to do so. Anyway, that event was held in SM Lipa courtesy of WowBatangas.com, headed by JR Cantos.

Anyway, Angel Cuala Online contains everything that I find interesting to share such as My Christmas Work Experience in Japan and important news and views about the Philippines especially the upcoming Presidential Election 2010. I hope you also visit it regularly.

But I think the most heart warming part of Father Blogger dot com is when My Life Story was featured in an Inspirational Book last October 2009. The book title is Inspirational Thoughts and Stories of Bloggers from all over the World and contains 27 inspiring life stories of different bloggers around the world, which was perfectly complied by Jenaisle who is also a fellow Filipino blogger. You can see the book cover on my sidebar, and how you can get a copy.

With that, I think 2009 has been a colorful year for me and I hope 2010 will be a better one. I wish not only for me, but also to fellow parents and families around the world.

Happy New Year!

If you want to receive my future posts regularly for FREE, you can subscribe in a reader or by Email. If you have concerns, please do not hesitate to Contact Me anytime.